Single - In a Relationship - Single - It's Complicated
by TheVideoGamer
Summary: Shadow the Hedgehog has never been so confused in his whole life. That kiss with Rouge was all he could've asked for, but why did he feel so uncomfortable with it? And when Silver, his best friend, comes along, why does he do nothing but make the situation more complicated? Nothing makes sense anymore! Picture by TheWritingGamer. Rated T for some adult language.
1. Beginning

Chapter One

_**BOOM!**_

The explosion hit the land like an earthquake, and everyone was thrown either onto the ground or severely off balance. Shadow had been skating at full speed away from the disturbance and was knocked off his feet, along with the azure hero to his left. The good news was that Dr. Eggman's latest invention had been destroyed. The bad news? Shadow woke up in a hospital bed.

"Ugh..." He groaned, stirring in his bed once consciousness had completely returned to him. He didn't bother asking where he was or what happened, because the severe headache and burn wounds all over him seemed to be pretty good storytellers.

"Hey, Faker." The voice had come from the bed beside him. It was Sonic, also hospitalized.

"Hmph."

A quick glance around the rest of the room revealed Rouge, Tails, Silver, Blaze, Knuckles, and Amy. Great. Shadow just _loved_ all the attention.

With a sigh he asked, "What do you people want from me?"

"We want you to get better!" Replied Rouge with a warm smile and a pet to Shadow's head. He turned away, hoping no one could see the blush appear on his face.

"So, it's good to see that you guys aren't dead or anything. I was worried. We all were." Silver looked at both of the ill hedgehogs for a moment before returning to his previous action, which was staring in awe at all the medical equipment.

The ebony hedgehog couldn't keep himself from smirking sinisterly when Amy gave Sonic a big, uncomfortable bear hug. That just _couldn't _feel good when covered in burns and cuts. Still though, the blue hedgehog's face went cherry red. He wasn't fooling anyone when he told her to get off. There was a mutual crush there. This thought made Shadow's smirk turn into a full-out smile, because it reminded him of Rouge and himself.

"So the doctors said you two could get out in a couple days." Blaze added to the conversation.

"Haha, that's funny," Shadow said with blatant sarcasm, "but they're letting me out when I _want_ to leave. And that's _right now_."

Rouge giggled, pushing him back down when he tried to get up. "It's cute how you think that's gonna work."

He shot her a fake glare. "It _will_ work. And if anyone tells me otherwise, I swear their teeth will be knocked right from their mouth. Every single one."

"Try me." Rouge put her hands behind her back and leaned toward the bed, giving him an easy target.

With a huff, Shadow crossed his arms and sat back against the headboard. "Come on. Do you think I'm gonna fight a woman?"

"Then your claim is invalid."

The ivory bat earned herself an eye roll from the black hedgehog.

-XXX-

Two days later, it was finally time to leave the hospital. Shadow's vision blurred as he stood up from the white bed. He wasn't used to not moving for so long. Rouge caught him before he could faceplant into the tile, and he nodded in thanks as he gave himself a minute to get comfortable on his own feet. This was only one of many things Rouge had done for him in the past few days, like getting him food when he wanted it, refusing to leave at night (which resulted in a lot of fighting with the staff and some quality entertainment for Shadow), and even buying him a "get well soon" balloon. He'd always give her a nod or a quiet "thanks", but it meant a lot more than that to him. He was starting to like Rouge almost as much as Maria.

When they left the hospital, Shadow gave her a wave and a rare, warm smile before beginning to walk away. "Oh, no you don't!" Rouge grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around. "You're still ill! Just 'cause you're out of the hospital doesn't mean you're healthy enough to be walking around on your own!"

Shadow crossed his arms. "Pfft. Please. I appreciate the thought, but I'm the Ultimate Life Form, Rouge. I can take care of myself."

The bat straightened her posture, but still had to look up at him slightly. She was about to prepare a comeback, but then suddenly decided against it. With a sigh, she said, "You're right. I've been acting like your mother for the past two days, and I'm not. So go ahead and be independent like you want to be." She motioned in the direction that he'd originally been walking. "Go right ahead."

"Uh, thanks." But then he started to realize that he had no money, and he really didn't like sleeping under trees. Also, what was he going to do for food? Rouge had a nice warm apartment that would fix all of these problems, but...

"Hey, Shadow."

He turned around, an eyebrow raised.

"Wanna have dinner at my place? Your choice, but I won't bother you for the rest of the week if you decide to come. The others will be there."

Thank God. "Alright, fine."

-XXX-

Shadow's burns had been more severe than Sonic's, so he had been moved to the burn unit of the hospital. This meant that Sonic got out a day earlier than him. It wasn't fair, but it was true. So when Shadow got back to Rouge's place, said blue hedgehog was there with the rest of the Mobians.

The front door opened and loudly slammed into the wall as Shadow stepped through. "Careful!" Rouge warned, wondering if her landlord was going to be mad if there was a mark on the wall.

"Hey Shadow!" The ebony one was suddenly assaulted with greetings from his circle of friends. Sonic was covered in bandages around his torso that were similar to Shadow's, but he had an arm in a sling, due to a particularly nasty piece of shrapnel, while Shadow had a sheet of gauze wrapped around his head from a similar cause.

"Hello…" He grouched, walking right past everybody and sitting on the couch.

Everybody laughed and had a good time while Rouge prepared dinner. Shadow remained on the couch until finally being called to eat, just watching the people around him. Somewhat appreciating that they all gathered here for him and Sonic, but mostly just wanting to be as far from the crowd as possible.

"Hey Handsome, come eat!" Rouge called out to him as she set down a platter of food and everybody began to swarm the table.

"Alright." Shadow sat down next to Rouge and helped himself to some steak and potatoes while Sonic boasted about who-knows-what.

-XXX-

After a few hours, the sun was long-gone and the only people left were Silver, Sonic, Shadow, and of course Rouge. "I should be headin' out. Don't wanna sleep the day away tomorrow!" Sonic announced loudly as he got off the couch and headed for the door.

"Bye!" Rouge called as he left.

Silver was the next to go. "I think I should go too, but thanks for having me over!"

"Anytime." Rouge replied.

"Bye Rouge. See ya Shadow!" He smiled and waved to the lamented hedgehog on the couch. Shadow gave him a small wave back, accompanied by a nod.

Once Shadow and Rouge were the only two people left in the apartment, Rouge asked, "So, where're you gonna be going tonight?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, when you leave."

"I don't know."

"Oh. Well-" Rouge stopped herself and reconsidered what she was about to ask. Would Shadow be angry that she kept offering to take care of him? She said she wouldn't bother him for the rest of the week, but he was too proud to ever ask this himself. It was worth a shot. "Do… you wanna stay here tonight?"

His eyebrows raised.

"In a guestroom, I mean!"

Shadow closed his eyes and snickered. "Why the hell not?"

Rouge's heart skipped a beat, and she began to smile.

Meanwhile…

Silver was leaving Rouge's apartment when a sudden realization swept over him. "Hm… I don't have anywhere to go…"

Back to Shadow and Rouge...

"So, you don't mind me taking care of you… again?"

"Nah, it's more like a favor, the way I see it."

"Good." She scooted closer to him on the couch and laughed nervously, hoping not to sound too desperate.

"Uh…"

Oh God, she'd pushed her limits, hadn't she?! "Is something wrong?" She had to remain cool. There was no backing down now.

"N-no. I'm fine." Shadow could feel his cheeks start to burn red. "So, uh, I think I'm gonna go to bed." With that, he began to get up.

Oh no. Rouge felt horrible. She'd blown her chance, hadn't she? Only one way to find out at this point. "Shadow, w-wait."

"Hm?" He looked over his shoulder at her.

"Sit back down. I need to tell you something."

He hesitated, giving her an uncomfortable look.

"Please."

With a sigh, he complied.

"Shadow…" She paused, noticing that the bandage on his head wasn't quite intact. "Uh, lemme fix this for you." Using this as an excuse to put off what she was going to say, she grabbed some gauze from her bathroom and some scissors from her kitchen. Slowly, Rouge unwrapped the old bandage and set it down on the coffee table. Careful not to hurt him, she began to wrap the new bandage around his head, wondering what Shadow thought of this.

Well, as unassuring as his expression seemed, Shadow found himself enjoying this. Even if Rouge had officially started mothering him again, he didn't mind. The ebony hedgehog could smell her perfume from this distance. He was pretty sure it was vanilla, but he didn't know much about that kind of stuff.

His thoughts were interrupted when she asked, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

She sat back. "So as I was saying,"

"A-huh?"

"Well, Shadow," As she said this, Rouge reached over and lightly touched Shadow's hand.

Without even thinking, he took her hand in his.

This gave Rouge the power to say her next words. "Shadow, you mean a lot to me, and…"

"Rouge."

"Yeah?"

"I feel the same way." He gave her, no, not a half-smile, but an ultra-rare full-out grin.

Not able to stand it anymore, Rouge leaned forward and kissed him.

Shadow kissed her back.

Then the door opened. "Hey guys, can I stay here for the-" Silver's voice went silent. "OMIGOD I'm sorry! I should've knocked!"

Shadow growled softly as he got up and left for the guest bedroom without another word. The door slammed shut.

"Rouge, I-"

"Don't worry about it, Silver. What did you need?"

"Oh, um…" He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well, it occurred to me that I don't have a house in this time period, so, uh, can I stay here tonight?"

"Sure, if Shadow's willing to share the guest bedroom with you. But…" They both looked in the direction that Shadow went. "That doesn't look too likely."

"Worth a shot, I guess. May I?"

"Go right ahead."

So Silver went up to the door and knocked gently. "Uh, Shadow?"

"What?"

"Sorry about this, but I don't have anywhere to go tonight, and Rouge said that I could share the guest bedroom with you. Is that okay?"

The door opened. Shadow's quills and head bandage were ruffled, like he'd been holding his hands over his face. He gave a nod. "You're on the floor, though."

"That's fine. Thanks!" Silver walked in and looked around the room. It was mostly white, with a blue bedspread and matching curtains.

Silver then opened the closet and found some blankets, which he began to spread out on the floor. Shadow sat down on the bed and remained completely silent. When Silver looked up from his work, he saw that Shadow had his face in his hands again.

"Are you alright, Shadow?"

"..."

"Shadow?"

"I'm fine, Silver. Just… a little… dazed. I guess."

"Hm." Silver was feeling really bad about barging in on them. "So, Rouge. She's really into you, Shadow. That's great!"

"Oh really? I didn't notice." Shadow raised his head as the sarcasm rolled effortlessly from his mouth.

Silver smiled. There was the Shadow he knew and loved.

-XXX-

Once Silver had set up his sleeping space on the floor, Rouge wished them a good night and left for her own bedroom. Shadow shut off the light and Silver curled up in his bundle of blankets. The ivory one heard the bed springs creak as Shadow laid down, and then silence pervaded the space. "Hey Shadow." Silver's whisper interrupted the other's thoughts and Shadow's eyes flew open.

"What do you want?"

"I'm… I'm happy for you."

"..."

"Shadow?"

"What?"

"Tell me what you're thinking."

Hesitation came before the response, but Shadow answered, "This room looks a lot like Maria's."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yes. She had a blue bed and white walls. Except, there were no curtains over the windows. She didn't like not being able to see the Earth."

"I'll bet it looked beautiful from space."

"Yeah, it really did."

Silver might have said something in response, but his cell phone buzzed suddenly and his attention was drawn to it. He slid the cover up and began to type.

"What was that noise?" Shadow asked.

"Oh, sorry. Blaze just texted me."

A moment later, the same buzzing noise was heard. Shadow sighed loudly.

"Sorry! I'll take this outside." Silver left and light poured into the room from under the door.

Suddenly, Shadow sat up and turned on the light, finding comfort in the familiar color scheme of the room. He felt like he was going to be sick, though. There were so many thoughts going through his mind. He couldn't believe he kissed Rouge! He really liked her, but something about the whole situation was making him uneasy. And Silver showing up really didn't help things. He loved that guy as his best friend, so… why was everything suddenly more complicated once he showed up?

-XXX-

Silver sat down on the couch and continued to text blaze.

"see U l8ter" She wrote.

The time-traveler laid down on the couch with his head on the armrest and his phone held out above him. With a smile, he typed, "see ya".


	2. Struggle

_**BEFORE YOU**__** READ**__: I'd like everyone to know that homosexuality has my full support in every way, and I have nothing against it. This is a story about Shadow facing the struggles of learning his own sexual orientation, though. And with that in mind, some offending things may be said in proceeding chapters. Please understand that this is all for the sake of drama and literature._

* * *

Ebony eyelids flew open. Though his body ached from wounds, Shadow couldn't help but sink into the comfort of the white mattress. He'd never slept anywhere more warm and pleasant. In fact, he never wanted to leave Rouge's house. Her hospitality was immense, and her affection towards him too. She was one of his greatest friends. But…

And then a sense of unease washed over him. Did he want her as anything more? He wasn't sure about the whole idea. He couldn't see himself with any woman at all, actually. He really just liked having close friends, like her and Silver.

Silver.

Oh, yes. That's right. He had slept over the previous night. Shadow looked down on the floor to his right, but the ivory one wasn't in the bundle of blankets. Then he also remembered that Silver had gone into the hallway to text Blaze. Must've fallen asleep out there.

When Shadow entered the living room, he saw that Silver was fast asleep on the couch. Cell phone on his lap and ruffled white quills, he looked quite adorable. Shadow found himself taking note of this.

_Yeah, cute. Like a puppy._

He chuckled before sitting down in a chair and grabbing the TV remote, prepared to turn down the volume and initiate the subtitles. But before he turned it on, he stopped. Stopped and decided to sneak one more look at his friend.

And just as before, there he was. Looking so very innocent. So very fragile, like you could merely touch him and he'd fall to pieces. Weird, how Shadow was thinking all of these random thoughts. The black hedgehog tore his vision away and proceeded to turn the TV on as the sun gingerly crested the horizon.

But, as he watched, he couldn't concentrate. By the end of the program, Shadow realized that none of the events had registered in his mind. What was he thinking about the whole time, you ask? The Mobian behind him, sprawled out on the sofa.

-XXX-

"Good morning!" Rouge called out as she left her bedroom. The sun was high in the sky now and she saw Silver sitting at the table. "Where's Shadow?"

"He left."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Well, being himself, it doesn't surprise me that he left early without a warning."

Silver looked up at her with shock. "Are you upset?"

"No, I'm just curious." She lied.

Meanwhile…

Shadow walked slowly along the streets of Station Square. If he didn't get some fresh air soon, he knew he'd lose his mind. So he was on his way to a meadow on the outskirts of town, where there was a perfect place to sit under a big oak tree and clear his mind.

Once he reached his destination, he sat down and laid against the plant's trunk. It wasn't as comfortable as Rouge's guest bed, but it was good enough for him. With a yawn, he realized how little sleep he'd gotten the night before, since he got up so early that morning. What a perfect time to take a nice, soothing nap...

"HEY SHADOW! WHAT'S UP?!"

"Agh! Damn it!" Shadow screamed upon waking to the rude disturbance. "What do you want?!"

Sonic was taken aback. "Jeez, I just wanted to say 'hi'. So… hi." He didn't sound as energetic as before, and Shadow felt just the slightest bit guilty inside.

"Ugh… hello."

That was enough of an invitation for Sonic to decide it was okay to sit down next to him. As the blue hero knelt down to sit, he watched Shadow roll his eyes, but not object.

Shadow didn't know why he wasn't objecting. What was with being so passive all of a sudden? He hated being this way, but it just kept, well… happening.

"So how'd you know I was here?"

"Y'know, I was just takin' a run and saw you against this tree. Red stripes stand out pretty well in nature!"

"Yeah, well you're not exactly one to talk."

Sonic looked down at himself, remembering what a bright azure color he was. With a laugh, he said, "I guess you're right about that one!"

Then Shadow found himself struggling not to smile.

_Dammit Shadow, don't smile!_

He begged himself, but to no avail. He turned his head away so Sonic wouldn't see the slight grin on his face.

"But anyway, it was convenient to find you here because Rouge has been frantic."

His smile disappeared. "What? Why?"

"You just up and left her house." I told her to chill, but you know how women can get!"

That didn't amuse Shadow at all. "Well, I'm my own person. She's not my mother! I don't _have_ a mother!" Shadow got up and pounded his fist against the bark of the tree, causing it to shake violently with his brute force.

"Okay, geez! I guess I'll go tell her that!" Sonic began to leave, and Shadow felt another twinge of guilt creep into him.

"Stop, Sonic." The blue hedgehog did as he was told.

"Yeah?"

"I'm coming." Shadow jogged up next to him.

Sonic smiled.

-XXX-

As they approached the building, Shadow found his chest constricting. Nervousness. But, why?

_Silver might be there._

What a random thing to think to himself. What a useless thought. But, wait. Is that what was causing the nerves?

_Why?_

His thoughts suddenly shifted back to that morning, and how he kept finding himself wanting to take another look at Silver.

_I guess I'm just not used to having friends so close, ever since…_

He didn't even want to think it. He'd moved on from that.

The next thing he knew, they were at the door. Sonic knocked four times, and footsteps could be heard on the other side. Then just a hint of Rouge's voice before the wood pulled away and she was standing in front of Sonic and Shadow.

"Shadow! We were wondering where you were!"

"That's an understatement." He muttered as he let her hug him.

"Please, come in. Both of you." Shadow forced his feet to bring him inside the living quarters while Sonic strode casually in behind him, smiling like an idiot.

Shadow sat down on the couch, and Sonic sat down next to him. "No. Just no." Shadow pushed him away and Sonic laughed as he got up to sit in a chair next to said couch.

Rouge sat down where Sonic used to be, and Sonic make some sort of jesterly remark about that, but no one was paying attention. "I was worried about you-" Rouge started, but was cut off by Shadow.

"What were we just talking about yesterday that you don't understand?!"

"I-" She stopped again when he sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. "Shadow, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have cared about you! I should never give a damn about where you are or what might've happened to you ever again!" She crossed her arms and got up from the couch, proceeding to storm through the hallway to her room. But on her way through, Shadow heard her mumble, "Excuse me Silver."

Silver.

Shadow's breathing caught. "You okay?" Sonic asked. The blue hedgehog sounded concerned, but not in a normal way. Almost annoyed.

When Silver entered the room, he said, "Hey Shadow. Is Rouge alright? I could hear her yelling."

Shadow stared at him for just a little bit too long before crossing his arms and replying, "She's fine."

"Um… okay, alright." Silver stood there uncomfortably. "So, where were you?"

"Just living my life. Can I not do that anymore?"

Silver sighed, shaking his head. "Of course you can. It was Rouge that was really worried, not me." The ivory hedgehog proceeded to sit down on the couch next to Shadow.

Shadow felt his face burning, and hoped no one noticed his blush.

Wait, why was he…?

Suddenly, a rock song began to blare in Sonic's direction. "Oh, sorry guys! That's my cell!" The blue hero picked his phone up and answered. "Hey Ames! Huh? No, I- what? Okay, I'll be right there!" He shut the lid on his phone and began to head out the door. "That was Amy! Someone's robbing the grocery store a few blocks from here! See ya later!"

The exit slammed shut, and Shadow wanted to punch that azure hedgehog for leaving him with the subject of his discomfort. "Okay, I can't take it. I'm going to talk to Rouge." Silver began to get up.

"Hey, hold on a second." Shadow wouldn't look him in the eye as Silver turned around.

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Oh, alright." Silver sat back down, knowing that if Shadow wanted to talk, it was a really big deal.

"Silver… You're um… gay, right?"

Silver's eyes widened. "I..."

Shadow snickered.

Silver tugged on his gloves, very uncomfortable.

They sat in silence for a while. "It's okay, Silver. Really." Shadow put a hand on Silver's shoulder, wondering what to say next. He noticed the white one tense up, shocked that Shadow had touched him.

"Shadow, what's your point…?"

He wasn't sure what to say, because he didn't really know himself. He wanted to shake his head and stop the conversation, but he didn't. He just wanted to scoot closer to him on that damn couch in Rouge's living room. So Shadow simply lowered his head and stared holes in the floor.

Silver grabbed Shadow's hand and pulled it off of himself, but didn't let it go. "It's fine, Shadow. Just tell me."

Suddenly, Shadow began to shake his head. "Nevermind. Forget I started this damn conversation." The ebony one pulled his hand away.

"Shadow-"

"No, Silver, just-"

"Shadow please, it's okay-"

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up, you faggot!"

Silver's jaw dropped, and he did as he was told as Shadow sprinted for the front door, shutting it behind himself with a loud bang.

Rouge came running. "What just happened, Silver? I heard him raise his voice, and then he called you… something I won't repeat, and then-"

"Then he left." Silver finished her sentence for her, looking quite pale.

"A-are you okay?" He nodded slowly. "No you're not. That Shadow is such a bastard sometimes…"

-XXX-

The sun was going to set soon. Shadow sat against the same tree as before and mentally kicked himself. "Why did I have to say anything? He thinks I'm such a little… He thinks I'm like him. I'm not."

Suddenly, he heard something rustling in the grass behind him. "Hey again, Shads!"

"What's the latest from Rouge, Messenger Boy?"

"Hey, that's Messenger _Man_, if anything!" Sonic sat down next to him again. "So, Rouge called and told me to carry this message." He cleared his throat before quoting, "'Shadow had better get his sorry ass down here and apologize to Silver for being such a bastard!'"

Shadow sighed. "And what makes her think I'm going follow her orders like a slave?"

"Because Silver told her what you said to him, and she knows."

"He narrowed his eyes. What could she possibly know? I said nothing!"

"That's not what she told me." Sonic began to smirk.

"...And what did she tell you?"

"...That she knows what you said to Silver."

Shadow mentally face-palmed. "So, you don't know what she's referring to then?"

"Ah-hah! So you _did_ say something to Silver!"

Shadow sighed. "I thought so." With that, he began to leave.

"Wait!"

"What?"

Sonic got up to meet him at eye-level. "Rouge is a really good gossiper, Shadow. Whatever she knows, she's gonna make it spread like wildfire. I'd do what she wants, if I were you."

"So I'm being blackmailed!?"

Sonic shrugged. "I guess you are."

Shadow began to feel anger building up inside of him. "Well then, I'd better head right over there. I'm going to make her wish she'd never played that card…"


	3. Rage

_A/N: Hey um, before I start this...  
_

_ Please don't kill me._

**_WARNING: _**_This c__hapter contains strong language.  
_

* * *

It was night, and Rouge and Silver were drinking hot chocolate. The TV was playing quietly in the background. The scene was still, and very peaceful. But then footsteps began to sound in the hall of the complex. Not normal footsteps either. Loud, angry footsteps. So loud in fact, that only metal shoes could possibly have made them. And that was exactly the case.

And then the knocking on the door. Oh, that knocking was so loud that the neighbors must have heard it. Rouge actually found herself afraid to open the it, and Silver was clearly alarmed.

"Open this door, you crazy bitch!"

The bat looked to the telekinetic hedgehog desperately. Silver didn't know what to think, though. Should they open it? Shadow would get the door down eventually, so what was the point in making him any angrier? Deciding on what she thought was best, Rouge braced herself and opened the door.

"Dammit Rouge you don't control my life! This was none of your f*cking business!" He screamed. Silver's ears went flat on his head and when Rouge backed up against a wall, Shadow glaring down at her, he knew it was time to intervene.

"Shadow, stop! You're scaring her!" Silver exclaimed, standing up from his chair.

"Oh, the _faggot_ thinks he can handle the Ultimate Life Form, huh?!"

Silver quickly took Rouge's place in terms of vulnerability, for Shadow had stormed over and was now glaring death at the poor hedgehog. Silver was furious for being called such a horrible term, but he knew what Shadow was capable of, and he was scared.

"Say something, Silver!" Shadow screamed, "Give me a reason why I shouldn't just backhand that crazy broad right now!"

"Holy shit…" Silver muttered, wondering if he dared say his next words. He did. "Shadow, what the hell is wrong with you?! I've never seen you so scared in your entire life!"

"Scared?! You think I'm scared?!"

"Yes. I think you're terrified."

Shadow almost laughed. "_Me_? Terrified of what, Silver?"

His reply was softer, wondering if he was going to get beaten for saying it. "Yourself."

The room grew very silent. The only thing that could be heard was Shadow's rapid breathing, which began to calm as the moments passed.

Shadow honestly began to feel embarrassed of himself. The previous night he'd been kissing Rouge, and the next, he had almost struck her. In fact, he was more than embarrassed. He was utterly ashamed.

"Well… dammit." He muttered under his breath, breaking the silence. "Damn it to hell, Silver." Shadow felt _so_ bad at this point, that he began to grow dizzy and leaned against a wall. "I-I…" He looked down at the floor, and couldn't bring himself to lift his head again. He didn't even want to be standing on the same ground as these people who he'd terrorized. Shadow felt like trash to himself.

No, even further. He wanted to lie down and die. Gently at first, Shadow threw his head against the wall. Then again. Then again. When he finally looked up, there was a dent in the surface and Silver and Rouge were saying something. Their lips were moving. He couldn't hear it though. He was staring at Silver now. The dizziness intensified. He tried to get away. Couldn't. Tripped and fell. Fell right into Silver. Silver caught him.

Silver.

Silver.

Silver.

When Shadow woke up, he was on the couch. Who cared what time it was, he didn't feel like part of the world anymore. He still felt like trash.

Something moved him. Shadow looked up.

Silver.

_No, please. Anybody but him. __Anybody__._

"Shadow, I think you know as well as I do that we need to talk."

_Anybody._

-XXX-

It took a while for Silver to even get Shadow to sit up. He'd had some sort of complete psychotic break. What string was finally severed in the web of his mind, who the hell even cared? He'd simply gone ballistic, and looking back on it, Silver didn't think he would've been able to say what he said to an angry Shadow ever again. Not in a hundred million years.

To this day, he doesn't understand why Shadow didn't break his nose for the sentences that left his mouth.

But who the hell even cared?

"Come on, Shadow." He coaxed, "Speak. Please. We're getting scared."

But the black hedgehog wouldn't speak. Couldn't speak. He was too disgusted with himself. Instead, he closed his eyes, and put his arms around Silver.

_What's he doing?! _Silver thought.

Was Shadow… hugging him? Why?!

Then it hit him.

"_Silver, you're, um… gay, right?"_

Not possible. Not in a million years. Not Shadow the Hedgehog.

And then said hedgehog began to cry. Tears poured from Shadow's eyes, dripping down onto Silver's shoulder. The ivory one didn't mind, of course. Now Shadow was softly sobbing, not even caring about judgement anymore.

His dignity was long gone anyway.

"Shadow, I get it now. I get it." Silver whispered to him, stroking his quills in an attempt to calm him.

The ebony hedgehog just shook his head, almost like he was begging Silver not to say it. But Silver had to say it. Had to test the sentence to his lips, and see how outrageous it _really_ was.

"Shadow... you're gay."

The black one said something. Something like "no" or "don't" or "why", but it didn't even matter anymore. Not to anyone.

_Shadow the Hedgehog is gay_.

Then he tried to speak again. Silver pulled away from him and asked, "I'm sorry, what was that?" In the gentlest voice he could, as if he were talking to a child.

"Maria would've never wanted this."

"Maria would've wanted this if it made you happy."

Shadow began to sob again. Clearly, he wasn't happy about it. Not at all.

Silver wiped the tears from his face. "It's okay. I promise."

Choking back his sobs, Shadow mumbled, "But you still don't fully understand."

"Hm…?"

Shadow's heartbeat rang through his ears like gunfire. He couldn't bring himself to say what he was thinking, so he acted on it instead. He leaned in toward Silver's face, and caught the time traveler by surprise.

Silver was astonished. What had just happened? Shadow was kissing him on the lips. _Okay, alright._ He kissed his best friend back. And he was happy.

Shadow was exhilarated.

-XXX-

Rouge turned off the faucet with a squeak, putting her toothbrush away for the night. Shadow had been asleep for a few hours now after that crazy scene, and she was hoping it would stay that way for the rest of the night. When she stepped into the hallway though, she could hear crying. It sounded low and unfamiliar. Realizing it must have been Shadow, she ran to the safety of her bedroom. It would destroy the guy if she was there when he was in such a weak state.

She thought to herself as she looked in the mirror across from her bed.

_It's horrible what Shadow is going through, whatever the hell this is. But at least the feelings are coming out as sadness instead of anger. He could destroy an entire city if he wanted to, or beat someone to death without even thinking._

She shivered at the thought, but it just made her more determined to help him.

_I'm going to help him get better. I'm going to be there when he needs me, every step of the way. Even if I don't quite understand._

In truth, Silver had only told her that Shadow had come to him with something, clearly big, that he wanted to get off of his chest. Of course, a secret could be anything. With just that information, she had an entire army against him. Now, though, the element of a secret wasn't what was important anymore. It was what the secret was. And upon thinking about this, she realized how much she really wanted to know.

_That's it. I'm marching into that living room and confronting him._

She opened the door and walked out into the hallway.

"Maria would have never wanted this…" She heard Shadow's voice, and the sentence made her shiver. What was he hiding? She began to jump to conclusions.

_What if he killed somebody? What if he was on drugs? What if he was in serious trouble with GUN? What if? What if?_

Silver had been saying something as she thought, and when she began to pay attention again, he was promising that _it_ would be okay. What was _it_?

Rouge took a step. Then another step. Then another step. She was at the corner now. All she had to do was lean forward slightly and look to her right. Shadow and Silver would be in perfect view. Shadow's crying stopped. She froze. Became a statue.

"But you still don't fully understand."

"Hm…?" Silver asked.

And then silence.

The ivory hedgehog's breathing caught. Rouge could barely take the suspense, but her body refused to look and see what was happening. Instead, she just took off in the opposite direction, running down the hall and shutting the door to her room swiftly but silently behind herself.

And she didn't sleep at all that night.


	4. Drunk

The two hedgehogs pulled out of their kiss. Shadow looked away, trying to hide his blush. "I didn't know… I had no idea…" Silver began.

"You can't tell anybody, okay?" The ebony hedgehog sounded quite serious.

"W-why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Shadow wouldn't look him in the eyes. "If they knew…"

"Shadow, we both know that Sonic wouldn't care. And the others wouldn't either, I can assure you!"

Shadow rolled his eyes. "You're not thinking this through."

"How am I not-" He stopped as Shadow motioned in the direction of Rouge's bedroom. "Oh." He paused briefly, putting together his next sentence. "You'll have to tell her eventually, though. I mean, if you don't you're just leading her on. She believes you have a romantic attraction for her, right?"

Shadow bit his lip. "Damn, everything is so screwed up."

Silver embraced him. "No, nothing's screwed up. We just have some stuff to work through."

"Well, despite it all," Shadow pulled away from the hug slowly and looked at Silver solemnly. "I don't want people to know. And I won't allow you to tell them."

The younger hedgehog sighed. "Alright, not right now. I can respect that."

"Thank you."

"So then…" Silver began, "What does this mean… for us?"

Shadow didn't give him a direct answer. Just stroked his face gently, before sitting back against the couch and closing his eyes.

Silver was still confused, but he decided to drop it for now. "Are you tired? Want to go back to the guest bedroom?"

"Sure." Shadow stood up and stumbled, his vision blurring for a moment.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." They slowly and silently walked back to the bedroom.

Once the door was shut and the lights on, Shadow sat down on the bed and asked, "Are you going to sleep in here or on the couch again?"

"Silver shrugged. Up to you."

"Up to me?" Shadow laid back and put his hands behind his head. "Um…" In truth, he really wanted to snuggle up next to Silver in that fluffy bed, but he wasn't going to say that. "I don't know. You can sleep in here if you want."

"Okay."

There were still blankets sprawled out on the floor next to the bed, so Silver laid down on them and looked up at Shadow, much to his disappointment. "You gonna get the lights, or do I have to?"

"I'll get the lights." Silver replied, standing up again and flipping a switch near the door. The room was suddenly filled with darkness.

Although both didn't know it of the other, they were staring up at the ceiling, thinking about the events of that day.

_Shadow's gone bipolar._ Silver thought to himself. _He was screaming, then he was sobbing, then he was kissing me. And now he's calm again… what's going on?_

_Am I going crazy…?_ Shadow wondered, _I was so angry just a few hours ago._ His vision began to adjust to the lack of light, and he looked over at Silver, who was rubbing his eyes tiredly. _Ugh, I wish he would just come up here with me… _But Shadow wouldn't dare ask him that. Not yet, anyway.

-XXX-

A few days had gone by. The morning after that crazy night, Shadow had said his goodbyes and left to live on his own again. He liked being around Silver, but he felt guilty every time he looked at Rouge.

The ebony hedgehog walked into a dive bar called "Gary's Place" on the outskirts of town. He couldn't imagine seeing anyone he knew here, and it was a good place to quietly drink. Perfect.

Shadow sat down on a red stool with old, torn fabric and the bartender walked up to him. "What can I get ya?" He asked casually and stereotypically.

Shadow sighed. "Scotch. Neat."

The man poured him a shot glass and slid it across the wood surface. Shadow picked it up and quickly drank down the contents of the small glass. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as it burned his throat.

"Need any water?" The mixologist asked.

"Nah. Another, please." Shadow was soon handed a second shot and he emptied the glass again. He was already feeling buzzed, being as small as he was, but the hedgehog didn't stop there. He took three more shots before deciding it was time to end the drinking. Not only was he less than eighty pounds, but Shadow really didn't drink often. So as he left that bar, he was staggering and his speech was slurred.

As he leaned up against the side of the building, he realized that he hadn't really thought this through. _What now…? _he wondered, _I feel great, but…_

Deciding to wing it, Shadow began to wander the streets. To be honest, he couldn't remember the way he came in the first place. The alcohol was clouding his mind. It was chilly outside, and the evening was getting ready to become night. He giggled hysterically. "What have I gotten myself into?"

Nothing seemed the same while under the influence of alcohol. Things blurred together in his vision, and everything seemed unnatural. He wasn't scared though. He was Shadow the Hedgehog. He sluggishly began to cross the street. "Maybe if I can get back to that park, then-" but his mumbling words were interrupted when a car horn sounded, and before he knew it he was being bathed in headlights. The human in the vehicle yelled something at him. Shadow turned to his right and yelled, "Just shut up! Y-you pathetic… pathetic person…"

_Jesus, nobody has any patience anymore…_ he thought to himself. _Maybe I should call somebody to come get me before I'm arrested…_

He stepped onto the sidewalk and realized he wasn't carrying anything with him anymore. He'd left his cell phone at the dive bar, and the rest of his money too. "Dammit!" He stomped his foot on the ground.

"Hey!" Somebody had called out to him. It was a human a few stores down, standing near a blue payphone.

He approached her slowly. "W-what do you want from me…?" He asked. She appeared concerned, obviously able to tell how drunk he was.

"I've got some extra change. You wanna call someone to pick you up?"

"Yeah."

She handed him two quarters. "Goodnight. Get home safely."

"Alright, thanks Maria…" he muttered as she left and he stepped up to the phone.

He inserted the change and dialed Silver's number. At least he could remember _that_. The phone began to ring.

"Hello?" Silver's familiar voice answered.

"I-It's me, Silver."

"Shadow? You sound-"

"Come get me… please."

"Okay, where are you?"

Shadow looked around. "Outside a Dominos Pizza store."

"There's a thousand Dominos Pizza stores in this city, Shadow. What street are you on?"

"I don't know! I'm tired and I don't want to be here anymore. Just find me!"

"I don't know where you are, Shadow! Go in the store and ask what street you're on."

"It's closed. Nobody's around. I can't think, Silver!" Shadow was getting shaken up. He really regretted his decision to drink.

"Okay, relax. I'm going to get Rouge and Sonic to help me find you. Just sit tight."

"Wait, Silver! I can't call you back after this call ends. I don't have any more change."

"We'll find you Shadow. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried. I just don't want to be here right now. All I know is that I'm somewhere near the edge of the city."

"Okay, Shadow. Goodb-" The call suddenly cut off.

The black hedgehog wished he could just teleport back to a familiar area, but he would need to know where he currently was. He also considered going back to the bar, but he couldn't even remember where _that_ was anymore.

-XXX-

"Hey Silver."

"Sonic, I just got off the phone with Shadow. He's somewhere near the edge of the city and he's lost. He was calling from a payphone and sounded drunk. Will you help me find him?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Is Rouge coming too?"

"I haven't called her yet but I'm going to ask her to."

"Alright, meet in front of her building?"

"Sounds good. Bye."

"Bye."

-XXX-

Hours must have passed. Shadow sat on a bench near the payphone, shivering and confused. "I just wanted to get away…" he muttered, "but I made everything worse."

It was then that he began to realize how inevitable his problems really were in the end.

"I'm going to have to tell Rouge eventually, but she's going to be furious. Right?" He just didn't know. Not that he could think at the moment anyway. Shadow curled his feet up to his chest to stay warm. "That is, if they can ever find me…"


End file.
